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Faq
Q: When are new posts released?
A: some fridays.
q: What does "FAQ" stand for?
A: "Frequently asked questions."
Q: what informs your creative, literary, & artistic processes?
A: mostly the Technical footnotes in the bible.
Q: Will you ever Ruin goodnight moon?
A: Is that a wes anderson movie?
q: What does "SMH" Mean?
A: "Shaking my head."
Q: do you like sports?
A: You mean like badminton & stuff?
Q: What's the worst thing on the internet?
A: People who say something is "everything."
Q: Do you think you'll ever ruin a teen-fiction book?
A: back to the last question, the other thing that's the worst is when people say something "broke the internet" because that's literally an impossibility since the person is looking at something on the internet and then commenting on it on the internet for other people to read that opinion on the internet.
Q: What's your favorite animal?
A: Capybara, if we're talking strictly rodents.
Q: do you prefer a handshake or a fist pound or blowing it up?
A: A gentle hug.
Q: Do you speak any foreign languages?
A: only finnish because that's just made up on the spot by the speaker.
Q: What's your favorite kind of music?
A: laundry-detergent-commercial music.
Q: What do they call a belgian waffle in belgium?
A: "Term used to describe the nationality of someone from this country waffle."
Q: If you could be any member of the Wu-tang clan, who would you be?
A: I think the sporty one or the dreamy one.
Q: what's your favorite color?
A: Don't have one; not a child.
Q: Don't you Drive a mazda?
A: come on, bro.
Q: Do you prefer a manual or battery-powered pencil sharpener?
A: Battery-powered.
Q: Are you a vegan?
A: no, but animals are better than humans.
Q: i never know whether to button my collar down on a date - like, is it too formal to do so, or if i don't will i look like a scrub?
A: fuck button-down-collar shirts.
Q: is there a god?
A: only if it's a female russell crowe.
Q: If you could have dinner with five people from history, who would you select?
A: I only eat alone. I eat a lot of wraps and croissant sandwiches.
Q: Do you drink coffee?
A: Yes, Black.
Q: I didn't ask how you take your coffee; can you simply stick to directly answering my frequently asked questions, please?
A: Is this Seth? I know it's you seth. you're such a dick.
Q: Mason & Aiden are really popular names for baby boys right now. What would you name a baby boy?
A: Not fucking seth.
Q: Traditional Ira or roth ira?
A: be good to one another, for we are but one force in this glorious universe, & that force shall only be overcome when we allow the dark to conquer the light, & the roots of our tree of life grow ever mightier only if we carry our fellow beings across that vast chasm of fire & strife that exists Solely in our hearts & minds, which we must combine into a maelstrom of positivity to confront those insidious elements that would see to the total annihilation of all that we judge as righteous & valia-wait, what was the question? Oh, uh, I don't fucking know. This isn't a bullshit investment website.
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